As you may had seen my name is Samantha and this is my life, as no-one knows it.
I was born in Carlton, Victoria, on Friday, the 16th of February 1990. After not having much memory of this time it's fuzzy on the details. But in 1992, at age 2, my family, then consisting of my mother, father, sister and myself, moved to the sunny state of Queensland to live with my nana.
As far as I knew my life was great. Mother was perfect, my father was perfect and life was as it was ment to be. As I grew up and started to get friends and have sleep overs I noticed my family was different to others. They did different things, weren't as loving as others. By this time I had a little brother, B1. As the years went by I realised that my family was everything but the perfect one I thought it once was. I noticed my mother and father fighting, not just yelling but there would be hitting and screaming, drugs and alcohol. Far from what my friends families were like.
The older I got the worse I remember it being. Mother bashing nana, uncle T trying to drown mother. Mother getting so drunk that if it wasn't for nana we wouldn't have eaten dinner them nights. After awhile father was sick of it and left. Mother made him out to be such a bad person, but I knew in my heart it was all lies. Thankfully I had my best friends across the road. It was a safe place, somewhere I could pretend that my life wasn't that bad. Getting lost in my own little world. I never wanted anyone to know what was going on behind closed doors.
As time went by, and I got older, I started to spend more and more time at best friends house. That then became my second home. By this time I was in school and had other things to keep my mind off home. I would make up excuses so my friends couldn't sleep over in the hope I could stay at theres. We eventually moved out of nanas house to somewhere else. We lived there for afew years, it was the longest I remember being at the one house as we moved around alot.
After afew years sisters father came back on the scene. He kept everything grounded for afew months, until one day I came home to find all his stuff gone. It was like father all over again. Not long after that mother told us that she was pregnant. 9 months later I had another brother, B2. We moved back into nanas house and everything seemed like it was getting back to being good. But I couldn't have been more wrong. uncle T and his then bim were living there. Which was a recipe for disaster!! Mother and uncle T fought constantly, hitting and yelling. It was terrifying! Hating my life I tried to block out my home life and live in my own world.
In 2000, shortly after B2 was born, mother decided that we were moving to Victoria to live with sisters father and his childeren. I didn't mind as father lived down there and it ment I got to spend more time with him. All was fine untill one day I was told I was going to live with my father. I was extreamly happy, afew weeks later B1 was sent there aswell. We lived there happily, finally getting a glimpse of a happy normal family, for afew months. One morning mother turned up to tell us that she was moving back to Queensland and B1 was going with her.
After afew months I was sent back to Queensland to live with mother again and I didnt like it. afew years later at the very start of 2002, mother found herself a new B/F. I didn't like him and didn't get along with him, so I was then sent back to live in Victoria. Life was great down there. I loved my school and all my new friends. A week before the big school holidays mother called to say that she was buying me a plane ticket to come up for a visit. NanaS told me to not get my hopes up, so I didn't. Surely enough she did end up getting the ticket for me and I was off on holidays to Queensland. Mothers new B/F and her had split up and mother was living at a caravan park. The drinking and drugs were worse then ever. After a week or so of me being up there mother was kicked out of her caravan, it wasn't anything unexpected it wasn't like the 1st time something like this had happened. We ended up at auntyT and uncleM's house. It was very crowded but it was alot better having sober people looking after you. It came time for me to head back to Victoria and I was happy, but I missed the plain. This happened 2 more times and I was very upset when father said don;'t worry about coming back. We continued to live with auntyT and uncleM for awhile until yet again it got to much and mother got kicked out.
We moved from holiday unit to holiday unit, until we were offered a place to live that was close to school, the beach and friends. I loved it. I was back at my old school with all my old friends. It was good on that side. But home was getting worse and worse. The drinking was the worst I remember it being and the drugs were just as bad. As 2002 ended and 2003 began I knew starting high school and my home life was going to keep me busy.
I ended up getting kicked out of school after a term and never went back. I started hanging out with some people who were afew years older then me. They met mother and never judged, which is what I liked. They understood and were there for me when I needed them.
At just 13 I started dating a man who was 20/21 years old. I wasn't "in love" with him, but it pissed mother off so I kepted dating him for 6 months. By that time he had asked me to marry him and he had ideas for our future. I didn't like how he treated me and I didn't like him in that way so I called it quits. When I ended it with him I started going out and partying everynight. Getting drunk and running a muck. Not really making a good life for myself. As I was now a teenager 13 almost 14, I stared to fight with mother and sister. So mother thought it would be best if I moved out of home. I moved in with best friends dad and his then G/F. I started seeing another man when I was 14, who had just turned 20. I moved out of BFD place and into a house with my then boss, his son and sons friend. I was doing well for myself. I had a job, roof over my head and a life that I was enjoying .
My then BF~S and I had been together for going onto 9 months when I moved in with him as things weren't working out with where I was living and I had since left the job I was at and working at lenards. After a month I started to feel different about the relationship with BF~S. I knew we weren't going to go anywhere but I stayed still. Now thinking it was a comfort thing. After 18 months, by now 2005, of us both not being happy and constantly fighting we split up. I stayed one more week, rang a friend, hoped on a train and headed for maryborough.
I got picked up from the train station by J and was finally happy to have left the past behind me and ready to start my life over. After just a month I packed up once again to move to Bundaberg to live, once again, with father......
Thats how my new life began......................
sammie
xx
I was born in Carlton, Victoria, on Friday, the 16th of February 1990. After not having much memory of this time it's fuzzy on the details. But in 1992, at age 2, my family, then consisting of my mother, father, sister and myself, moved to the sunny state of Queensland to live with my nana.
As far as I knew my life was great. Mother was perfect, my father was perfect and life was as it was ment to be. As I grew up and started to get friends and have sleep overs I noticed my family was different to others. They did different things, weren't as loving as others. By this time I had a little brother, B1. As the years went by I realised that my family was everything but the perfect one I thought it once was. I noticed my mother and father fighting, not just yelling but there would be hitting and screaming, drugs and alcohol. Far from what my friends families were like.
The older I got the worse I remember it being. Mother bashing nana, uncle T trying to drown mother. Mother getting so drunk that if it wasn't for nana we wouldn't have eaten dinner them nights. After awhile father was sick of it and left. Mother made him out to be such a bad person, but I knew in my heart it was all lies. Thankfully I had my best friends across the road. It was a safe place, somewhere I could pretend that my life wasn't that bad. Getting lost in my own little world. I never wanted anyone to know what was going on behind closed doors.
As time went by, and I got older, I started to spend more and more time at best friends house. That then became my second home. By this time I was in school and had other things to keep my mind off home. I would make up excuses so my friends couldn't sleep over in the hope I could stay at theres. We eventually moved out of nanas house to somewhere else. We lived there for afew years, it was the longest I remember being at the one house as we moved around alot.
After afew years sisters father came back on the scene. He kept everything grounded for afew months, until one day I came home to find all his stuff gone. It was like father all over again. Not long after that mother told us that she was pregnant. 9 months later I had another brother, B2. We moved back into nanas house and everything seemed like it was getting back to being good. But I couldn't have been more wrong. uncle T and his then bim were living there. Which was a recipe for disaster!! Mother and uncle T fought constantly, hitting and yelling. It was terrifying! Hating my life I tried to block out my home life and live in my own world.
In 2000, shortly after B2 was born, mother decided that we were moving to Victoria to live with sisters father and his childeren. I didn't mind as father lived down there and it ment I got to spend more time with him. All was fine untill one day I was told I was going to live with my father. I was extreamly happy, afew weeks later B1 was sent there aswell. We lived there happily, finally getting a glimpse of a happy normal family, for afew months. One morning mother turned up to tell us that she was moving back to Queensland and B1 was going with her.
After afew months I was sent back to Queensland to live with mother again and I didnt like it. afew years later at the very start of 2002, mother found herself a new B/F. I didn't like him and didn't get along with him, so I was then sent back to live in Victoria. Life was great down there. I loved my school and all my new friends. A week before the big school holidays mother called to say that she was buying me a plane ticket to come up for a visit. NanaS told me to not get my hopes up, so I didn't. Surely enough she did end up getting the ticket for me and I was off on holidays to Queensland. Mothers new B/F and her had split up and mother was living at a caravan park. The drinking and drugs were worse then ever. After a week or so of me being up there mother was kicked out of her caravan, it wasn't anything unexpected it wasn't like the 1st time something like this had happened. We ended up at auntyT and uncleM's house. It was very crowded but it was alot better having sober people looking after you. It came time for me to head back to Victoria and I was happy, but I missed the plain. This happened 2 more times and I was very upset when father said don;'t worry about coming back. We continued to live with auntyT and uncleM for awhile until yet again it got to much and mother got kicked out.
We moved from holiday unit to holiday unit, until we were offered a place to live that was close to school, the beach and friends. I loved it. I was back at my old school with all my old friends. It was good on that side. But home was getting worse and worse. The drinking was the worst I remember it being and the drugs were just as bad. As 2002 ended and 2003 began I knew starting high school and my home life was going to keep me busy.
I ended up getting kicked out of school after a term and never went back. I started hanging out with some people who were afew years older then me. They met mother and never judged, which is what I liked. They understood and were there for me when I needed them.
At just 13 I started dating a man who was 20/21 years old. I wasn't "in love" with him, but it pissed mother off so I kepted dating him for 6 months. By that time he had asked me to marry him and he had ideas for our future. I didn't like how he treated me and I didn't like him in that way so I called it quits. When I ended it with him I started going out and partying everynight. Getting drunk and running a muck. Not really making a good life for myself. As I was now a teenager 13 almost 14, I stared to fight with mother and sister. So mother thought it would be best if I moved out of home. I moved in with best friends dad and his then G/F. I started seeing another man when I was 14, who had just turned 20. I moved out of BFD place and into a house with my then boss, his son and sons friend. I was doing well for myself. I had a job, roof over my head and a life that I was enjoying .
My then BF~S and I had been together for going onto 9 months when I moved in with him as things weren't working out with where I was living and I had since left the job I was at and working at lenards. After a month I started to feel different about the relationship with BF~S. I knew we weren't going to go anywhere but I stayed still. Now thinking it was a comfort thing. After 18 months, by now 2005, of us both not being happy and constantly fighting we split up. I stayed one more week, rang a friend, hoped on a train and headed for maryborough.
I got picked up from the train station by J and was finally happy to have left the past behind me and ready to start my life over. After just a month I packed up once again to move to Bundaberg to live, once again, with father......
Thats how my new life began......................
sammie
xx
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