I moved to Bundaberg on the 4th of July 2005, also know as Independance day in other parts of the world. But for me it was Independance day, it just had whole new meaning. It ment that I was going to now live my life for me. I had a fresh start, I was leaving behind the bad things that had happened to me and that I'd done in the past, (some of which I never mentioned in the previous blog but will aventually get to them as time goes by).
When I got to Bundaberg I felt as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was happy, like really happy for the 1st time in a long time. We arrived at fathers and I unpacked the small amount of things I owned. Witchy-poo, a family friend who lived around the corner from father and who was one of fathers boss', said to me tomorrow we are taking you down to the high school and see if you want to enroll there if not we will go to tafe. She also said that she was going to take me into centrelink to try and get me paid so I had something to live off.
The next day, just as witchy-poo had said, we were in the car and heading to the high school. When we got there, there were other people waiting to go through the introduction process aswell. As time went on and I listened to the teacher that was speaking to us I realised that I didn't want to go back to high school. So I told witchy-poo and she said ok then we shall go down to the tafe and find something that I liked there.
When we arrived at tafe we walked up to the recption and sat down to speak to a lady about what my options were. We were told that because of my lack of addendance to high school there were a few things that I couldn't get into straight away. After flicking through the booklet I had narrowed it down to 2 subjects- Hospitality and Aged care. In the end I enrolled in Hospitality. I was so excited to be doing something different and couldn't wait till the following week when I started. After tafe we went to centrelink and to my surprise they said there was something they could do for me. All that I needed was to sit through a few interviews.
The next week was my 1st day at tafe and I loved it. I made a few friends and arranged to go out with rahh-rahh the following weekend. When that weekend came I was so excited and had some fun. I thought rahh-rahh was a little strange but at the time I didn't really care. A few weeks later rahh-rahh- asked me if I wanted to move in with her and her kids. I was excited and said yes. Rahh-rahh introduced me to new friends and we went out together every weekend. I still kept in contact with BF~S and we decided to give the long distance thing a shot.
2 weeks later I jumped on a train and headed to the Sunshine Coast to spend the weekend with BF~S. When I saw him at the train station I was excited, but didn't feel attracted to him as I once was. After afew days I got back on the train and headed to where I now called home. When I got back I felt like thsi was where I was ment to be. I ended it with BF~S 2 weeks later, I didn't think it was fair as I didn't have any feelings towards him anymore but we stayed as friends. He started ringing up everyday telling me he missed me and would get rather upset if I said that I was out or drinking. So when I got my 1st Bundaberg boyfriend I didn't dare tell him, as I still wanted to be friends and knew something like this would destroy that.
After many different boyfriends and many different break-ups, I was still talking to BF~S and he never suspected a thing. One night I was out with afew friends at moggies house when rahh-rahh and tink turned up. I went out to talk to them and they were saying how there was this guy in town driving a awesome looking lancer with a huge spoiler with balloons tied to his car. They then left to try and find him again. The next day we were out the frount of the house in which I now lived in and by this time tink had moved in aswell. We lived across the road from a high school. Just then tink spotted the lancer the lancer she had seen from the night before and was so excited that she wrote a note and placed it under the wiper blades. It said that we were going to be up town that night and to keep an eye out for us. We were going to be in a silver excell. We watched through the fence as jet boy read the note. I went back inside as I had to get ready for work at ATW. After work rahh-rahh picked me up and we went to the caltex so I could get changed. A bit later on we spotted jet boy and we yelled out to them to pull over. When he pulled over tink was telling saying that she was thinking about getting his number but was too scared to. I saw the chance, stuck my head out of the car and told jet boy I wanted his number, and sure enough I got it.
We started texting each other and as I found out more about him I started to like him. After a few days of us texting each other I ended up asking him out and he said yes. But after a week I ended it, I had feelings for him that I'd never had for anyone else and got scared. A few months went by and after me ending a few relationships because I couldn't get jet boy out of my head, I decided to text him to see if he wanted to catch up. Sure enough he did. Blondy was over and I suggested that we go for a drive with jet boy. As we were walking down the driveway blondy was saying how she couldn't believe that I ever went out with him, that was untill she saw his car, the jet. I didn't really fancy the car I was more interested in jet boy himself, Where as blondy was very interested in the jet. But none of that mattered and by the end of the night me and jet boy were back together.
Afew weeks later me and rahh-rahh had a fight and I moved out of there and back in with father. Jet boy and I were going well, until blondy asked him if they could get to know each other more. Jet boy didn't no what she ment by that and thought it ment to be friends so he asked me if it was ok. I got very upset and ended it between us, as me and blondy were no longer friends and I knew what she was trying to do. For months and months I didnt speak to anyone i use to hang around with, only miss tease. But one day she rang me and dropped a bomb shell. she told me her mum was sending her back down to Bendigo to live and that she was leaving the next week. I was devostated. After she moved away I got a job around the corner at the golf club. I was loving it , the money was good and I made new friends. One night when I was out with shazz I spotted the jet. I was so excited that I told ash to catch up to that car. When we did I yelled out to him and he looked over puzzled as My hair was now very short. So I rang him and he was happy to hear from me. We texted each other all night and I told him he should come over the next dat for a visit.
When he turned up I got butterflies in my tummy and feelings started coming back. We started hanging out when I wasnt at work. One night we went out and I was again talking to rahh-rahh. Then blondy sent jet boy a message and asked what he was doing, as he was driving I replied and said that he was out with me. All of a sudden the phone rang and one of blondy's friends was abusing him for being out with me. We decided to go for a long drive and see where we ended up. After a hour into the trip and may abusive phone calls and text messages jet boys dad rang and said he thougt it was best if we came home. So we turned the car around and may our way back. we dropped rahh-rahh at the petrol station near the air port and she got picked up by a different friend. JBD didn't think it was a safe idea that he drops me off so I went back to his house for the night.
The next day rahh-rahh picked me up and took me back out to fathers. I was out a few nights later with jet boy when blondy and her retarded friends decided that they would follow us. I wanted jet boy to stop but he didn't think that that was a good idea. We made it to witchy-poo's house and one of the cars stopped on the other side of the road. I got out of the jet yelling at the retards. None of them had any clue who me and jet boy were they were just told by blondy to follow us (there was 3 cars). I started to make my way down to the 2nd car at the end of the street when they drove off. witchy-poo followed us back to fathers place to make sure they weren't going to try and follow us again. when we got to fathers jet boy rang JBD and said to meet him at the police station. So we did, by the end of the night me and jet boy were back together. A few days later we took out a good behaviour order out against blondy.
In September 2006 blondy was served with the order and we were glad it was over. After the court case we hung around town for awhile because I had a doctors app. Before the app we went to the RSPCA and ended up leaving with a new puppy samson. I was dropped at the doctors and told her that I think I might be pregnant. She gave me a cup to take a test. I went to the nurse area with my sample and then it was confermed. I was pregnant and jet boy was set to become a daddy. When I got back into the car he had no clue as to what I was about to say. When I told him he was quiet. We went back to his place and I had to convince him to tell his parents. They weren't happy to start with but after my ultrasound confermed that I was indeed pregnant they came around to the idea slowly. As I had had a fight with father a few weeks before hand I was crashing at rahh-rahhs. I didn't to move into there again and didn't want to go back to fathers jet boys parents decided that it was best if I moved in there......
and so the journey continues..............
Friday, September 26, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
The Introduction..........
As you may had seen my name is Samantha and this is my life, as no-one knows it.
I was born in Carlton, Victoria, on Friday, the 16th of February 1990. After not having much memory of this time it's fuzzy on the details. But in 1992, at age 2, my family, then consisting of my mother, father, sister and myself, moved to the sunny state of Queensland to live with my nana.
As far as I knew my life was great. Mother was perfect, my father was perfect and life was as it was ment to be. As I grew up and started to get friends and have sleep overs I noticed my family was different to others. They did different things, weren't as loving as others. By this time I had a little brother, B1. As the years went by I realised that my family was everything but the perfect one I thought it once was. I noticed my mother and father fighting, not just yelling but there would be hitting and screaming, drugs and alcohol. Far from what my friends families were like.
The older I got the worse I remember it being. Mother bashing nana, uncle T trying to drown mother. Mother getting so drunk that if it wasn't for nana we wouldn't have eaten dinner them nights. After awhile father was sick of it and left. Mother made him out to be such a bad person, but I knew in my heart it was all lies. Thankfully I had my best friends across the road. It was a safe place, somewhere I could pretend that my life wasn't that bad. Getting lost in my own little world. I never wanted anyone to know what was going on behind closed doors.
As time went by, and I got older, I started to spend more and more time at best friends house. That then became my second home. By this time I was in school and had other things to keep my mind off home. I would make up excuses so my friends couldn't sleep over in the hope I could stay at theres. We eventually moved out of nanas house to somewhere else. We lived there for afew years, it was the longest I remember being at the one house as we moved around alot.
After afew years sisters father came back on the scene. He kept everything grounded for afew months, until one day I came home to find all his stuff gone. It was like father all over again. Not long after that mother told us that she was pregnant. 9 months later I had another brother, B2. We moved back into nanas house and everything seemed like it was getting back to being good. But I couldn't have been more wrong. uncle T and his then bim were living there. Which was a recipe for disaster!! Mother and uncle T fought constantly, hitting and yelling. It was terrifying! Hating my life I tried to block out my home life and live in my own world.
In 2000, shortly after B2 was born, mother decided that we were moving to Victoria to live with sisters father and his childeren. I didn't mind as father lived down there and it ment I got to spend more time with him. All was fine untill one day I was told I was going to live with my father. I was extreamly happy, afew weeks later B1 was sent there aswell. We lived there happily, finally getting a glimpse of a happy normal family, for afew months. One morning mother turned up to tell us that she was moving back to Queensland and B1 was going with her.
After afew months I was sent back to Queensland to live with mother again and I didnt like it. afew years later at the very start of 2002, mother found herself a new B/F. I didn't like him and didn't get along with him, so I was then sent back to live in Victoria. Life was great down there. I loved my school and all my new friends. A week before the big school holidays mother called to say that she was buying me a plane ticket to come up for a visit. NanaS told me to not get my hopes up, so I didn't. Surely enough she did end up getting the ticket for me and I was off on holidays to Queensland. Mothers new B/F and her had split up and mother was living at a caravan park. The drinking and drugs were worse then ever. After a week or so of me being up there mother was kicked out of her caravan, it wasn't anything unexpected it wasn't like the 1st time something like this had happened. We ended up at auntyT and uncleM's house. It was very crowded but it was alot better having sober people looking after you. It came time for me to head back to Victoria and I was happy, but I missed the plain. This happened 2 more times and I was very upset when father said don;'t worry about coming back. We continued to live with auntyT and uncleM for awhile until yet again it got to much and mother got kicked out.
We moved from holiday unit to holiday unit, until we were offered a place to live that was close to school, the beach and friends. I loved it. I was back at my old school with all my old friends. It was good on that side. But home was getting worse and worse. The drinking was the worst I remember it being and the drugs were just as bad. As 2002 ended and 2003 began I knew starting high school and my home life was going to keep me busy.
I ended up getting kicked out of school after a term and never went back. I started hanging out with some people who were afew years older then me. They met mother and never judged, which is what I liked. They understood and were there for me when I needed them.
At just 13 I started dating a man who was 20/21 years old. I wasn't "in love" with him, but it pissed mother off so I kepted dating him for 6 months. By that time he had asked me to marry him and he had ideas for our future. I didn't like how he treated me and I didn't like him in that way so I called it quits. When I ended it with him I started going out and partying everynight. Getting drunk and running a muck. Not really making a good life for myself. As I was now a teenager 13 almost 14, I stared to fight with mother and sister. So mother thought it would be best if I moved out of home. I moved in with best friends dad and his then G/F. I started seeing another man when I was 14, who had just turned 20. I moved out of BFD place and into a house with my then boss, his son and sons friend. I was doing well for myself. I had a job, roof over my head and a life that I was enjoying .
My then BF~S and I had been together for going onto 9 months when I moved in with him as things weren't working out with where I was living and I had since left the job I was at and working at lenards. After a month I started to feel different about the relationship with BF~S. I knew we weren't going to go anywhere but I stayed still. Now thinking it was a comfort thing. After 18 months, by now 2005, of us both not being happy and constantly fighting we split up. I stayed one more week, rang a friend, hoped on a train and headed for maryborough.
I got picked up from the train station by J and was finally happy to have left the past behind me and ready to start my life over. After just a month I packed up once again to move to Bundaberg to live, once again, with father......
Thats how my new life began......................
sammie
xx
I was born in Carlton, Victoria, on Friday, the 16th of February 1990. After not having much memory of this time it's fuzzy on the details. But in 1992, at age 2, my family, then consisting of my mother, father, sister and myself, moved to the sunny state of Queensland to live with my nana.
As far as I knew my life was great. Mother was perfect, my father was perfect and life was as it was ment to be. As I grew up and started to get friends and have sleep overs I noticed my family was different to others. They did different things, weren't as loving as others. By this time I had a little brother, B1. As the years went by I realised that my family was everything but the perfect one I thought it once was. I noticed my mother and father fighting, not just yelling but there would be hitting and screaming, drugs and alcohol. Far from what my friends families were like.
The older I got the worse I remember it being. Mother bashing nana, uncle T trying to drown mother. Mother getting so drunk that if it wasn't for nana we wouldn't have eaten dinner them nights. After awhile father was sick of it and left. Mother made him out to be such a bad person, but I knew in my heart it was all lies. Thankfully I had my best friends across the road. It was a safe place, somewhere I could pretend that my life wasn't that bad. Getting lost in my own little world. I never wanted anyone to know what was going on behind closed doors.
As time went by, and I got older, I started to spend more and more time at best friends house. That then became my second home. By this time I was in school and had other things to keep my mind off home. I would make up excuses so my friends couldn't sleep over in the hope I could stay at theres. We eventually moved out of nanas house to somewhere else. We lived there for afew years, it was the longest I remember being at the one house as we moved around alot.
After afew years sisters father came back on the scene. He kept everything grounded for afew months, until one day I came home to find all his stuff gone. It was like father all over again. Not long after that mother told us that she was pregnant. 9 months later I had another brother, B2. We moved back into nanas house and everything seemed like it was getting back to being good. But I couldn't have been more wrong. uncle T and his then bim were living there. Which was a recipe for disaster!! Mother and uncle T fought constantly, hitting and yelling. It was terrifying! Hating my life I tried to block out my home life and live in my own world.
In 2000, shortly after B2 was born, mother decided that we were moving to Victoria to live with sisters father and his childeren. I didn't mind as father lived down there and it ment I got to spend more time with him. All was fine untill one day I was told I was going to live with my father. I was extreamly happy, afew weeks later B1 was sent there aswell. We lived there happily, finally getting a glimpse of a happy normal family, for afew months. One morning mother turned up to tell us that she was moving back to Queensland and B1 was going with her.
After afew months I was sent back to Queensland to live with mother again and I didnt like it. afew years later at the very start of 2002, mother found herself a new B/F. I didn't like him and didn't get along with him, so I was then sent back to live in Victoria. Life was great down there. I loved my school and all my new friends. A week before the big school holidays mother called to say that she was buying me a plane ticket to come up for a visit. NanaS told me to not get my hopes up, so I didn't. Surely enough she did end up getting the ticket for me and I was off on holidays to Queensland. Mothers new B/F and her had split up and mother was living at a caravan park. The drinking and drugs were worse then ever. After a week or so of me being up there mother was kicked out of her caravan, it wasn't anything unexpected it wasn't like the 1st time something like this had happened. We ended up at auntyT and uncleM's house. It was very crowded but it was alot better having sober people looking after you. It came time for me to head back to Victoria and I was happy, but I missed the plain. This happened 2 more times and I was very upset when father said don;'t worry about coming back. We continued to live with auntyT and uncleM for awhile until yet again it got to much and mother got kicked out.
We moved from holiday unit to holiday unit, until we were offered a place to live that was close to school, the beach and friends. I loved it. I was back at my old school with all my old friends. It was good on that side. But home was getting worse and worse. The drinking was the worst I remember it being and the drugs were just as bad. As 2002 ended and 2003 began I knew starting high school and my home life was going to keep me busy.
I ended up getting kicked out of school after a term and never went back. I started hanging out with some people who were afew years older then me. They met mother and never judged, which is what I liked. They understood and were there for me when I needed them.
At just 13 I started dating a man who was 20/21 years old. I wasn't "in love" with him, but it pissed mother off so I kepted dating him for 6 months. By that time he had asked me to marry him and he had ideas for our future. I didn't like how he treated me and I didn't like him in that way so I called it quits. When I ended it with him I started going out and partying everynight. Getting drunk and running a muck. Not really making a good life for myself. As I was now a teenager 13 almost 14, I stared to fight with mother and sister. So mother thought it would be best if I moved out of home. I moved in with best friends dad and his then G/F. I started seeing another man when I was 14, who had just turned 20. I moved out of BFD place and into a house with my then boss, his son and sons friend. I was doing well for myself. I had a job, roof over my head and a life that I was enjoying .
My then BF~S and I had been together for going onto 9 months when I moved in with him as things weren't working out with where I was living and I had since left the job I was at and working at lenards. After a month I started to feel different about the relationship with BF~S. I knew we weren't going to go anywhere but I stayed still. Now thinking it was a comfort thing. After 18 months, by now 2005, of us both not being happy and constantly fighting we split up. I stayed one more week, rang a friend, hoped on a train and headed for maryborough.
I got picked up from the train station by J and was finally happy to have left the past behind me and ready to start my life over. After just a month I packed up once again to move to Bundaberg to live, once again, with father......
Thats how my new life began......................
sammie
xx
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